Last day of the year!

&& I spent it well. With the ones I love, my family, and KESTER. ^o^
We watched movies, and ate, and watch movies, and ate. Yum. Haha.
I'm thankful I made it through this year. God has been more than wonderful to me.

Happy New Years Eve, Blogger!

my oh my

Blogger, what to do what to do?
I finally started using my tumblr, its nice. I won't stop bloggin here, but I'll probably be more focused on tumblr now. I will keep serious things here though. ^o^
I love this spot. Its mine, and it's been here for me through the hardest times, so there's no way I'd turn my back on you.<3

If you'd like to follow me on tumblr, just ask for the url. Or find me. :]

Good day to all!

Problems

I'm glad to say, I have someone to tell it all to. God? Yes, but other than God, I have someone dear to me, Mister, my Sister, and some. I'm so just so thankful they are here for me. I know I can count on them when I need them. <3

I love you all!

Church

Wow, I'm so blessed. Tonight was a long service, but it didn't even feel like it. Time flies when praising the Lord. It was just so wonderful to hear the testimonies of the church family. I love it. It makes you so much more appreciative of what you have, and even what you don't have.

I thank God for my Church, I honestly don't know what I'd do without them. They are family.
I love them! <3


God is so good!

Twas great!

Christmas was great! I actually finished everything I wanted to finish! I never thought I'd see the day!

So Kester came over and he waited for me to get everything together. I took longer than I was supposed to that morning, but oh well. I finished. And I wrapped it up and went to the living room and gave him his gift! I was happy. Hehe. Then he gave me mine, an empty card. I was puzzled. Hah. They all started laughing at me, but then he gave me the gift! An amazing hand made card! AH, I loved it! It was so neat, and filled with love.. and a gift card. ;] I'm thaa really good friend who got that got the gift card! Hehe. If yall read an earlier post you'd understand.

Anywoo, he also got me some other awesomely awesome things, but I don't feel like going in to detail. ;p My sister got me this really cute shirt with what I thought was a rabbit, but turns out.. with the help of my loves eyes, its actually a rat! Haha. Its a cutie.

After all was done we decided to go to my chbfs house! Bada! We brought one of the puppies along to play with her brother Tyro. We hung out there and played Wii boxing. Hah I am goood at that game, but boy its tiring. Laboogie and his friend showed up at the Badas. It was nice seeing his face, we all missed him. But yeah, it was nice spending time with all of them. They are basically family<3

We came back home and just rested until 6:30 that's when Mister had to leave to get to his families party. So he left, I cleaned, and then took pictures with my Char... and since I didn't sleep until 4 that morning I knocked out around 8 pm ;p

Its okay though, cause I feel recharged! I'm ready for the New year!!!

I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas. :]

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

It's really here, guys!

I hope you all have a blessed Christmas with the ones you love. I know I will.

My pies first Christmas, She loves the lights.
<3

Merry Christmas eve!

So it's 2:58 AM right now. Just getting everything together. Christmas Eve was awesome. The mister spent it with me for the first time and stayed till 12 something. We opened presents and took pictures. He gave the puppies their present and they opened it! It was so adorable. Boy, Pie, and Mud were so thankful. It was priceless. Then they went back to bed .after that. Cuties. Their first Christmas.<3

So yeah, I got some sweeet things from my parents and sister. I love them. Clothes are awesome. ^o^ I have yet to see what my Jagiya got me, but I'm sure I'll love it whatever it is. And he didn't open his yet, but I'm sure he'll love it... or I hope he does! If not, then aiish! ;p

I'm so tired right now, but I must do my best to stay awake and finish everything! Today will be even better, I just feel it.

Merry Christmas (Eve), everyone!









No one wants to be alone at Christmas time.

You may say that I'm a dreamer.

So this whole week is packed for me. Its been good though, super fun! Its just that.. I still have a lot to get done, and time is a ticking! I will accomplish though. I know I will. For I am determined. Yes!

Yesterday, I went to North County with my Love and Char. Got my gifts for my CHBF & my Joyce! I gave it to them today. Danielle couldn't wait to open it so she just did it in front of me... and she loved it! I was happy that she did. Then she wrapped it back up so she can open it up on Christmas. Funny girl. I love her. I hope Joyce likes hers. I think it says her. :] Anyway...

Got my gifts at the mall and ran into my buddy Meca and a friend. ;] Mystery guy. Hah. John. After talking to her we went off to get stuff for Kester's friends. He's so generous. I'm sure they will be very thankful. ^o^ Once we left the mall we went back to my place and got my Mom and headed off to Mira Mesa to watch Avatar with my Family from Otay. The 3D Avatar showings were sold out. Bummer, I know. But we were more than satisfied with the regular showing. It was amazing! <3 I loved it, I just wish I was completely there, cause I had a migraine due to chocolate. This is why I hate the stuff, but why must my body crave it from time to time?! Curse you, Chocolate!

Yeah, so I'd go back to watch it in 3D or even 4D if there really is a theater like that. (According to Anthony.. theres one in Poway.) But yeah, the movie was so worth it. It's the only alien movie I'll watch and not get freaked out by ugly looking things, these aliens were beautiful to me.<3 Hehe. I'm glad my family loved it as well. Kester and Brandon, they are something else. I think it's adorable when they are together, it's as if they are siblings. I'm happy that Mister likes spending time with them.

Today was long and cold, but fun. Spent it with Joyce and Clarisa. Watching Movies. :D
And then had family night at church. <3 Loved it.

Last day of caroling for 2009. Let it be great.

Prickle prickle OUCH!

So this week has been a good one. I plan on getting all my Christmas stuff done by Saturday. Time to go into overdrive. Right now I'm just taking a break from sewing something for my secret santa person. I hope they like it, cause its beating my fingers up! At times like these, I wish I had my sewing machine. Oh how I miss you so. Anywoo.


I've been playing Cooking Mama 3, Animal Crossing, and some other game ever since Mister came over on Wednesday. We wrapped gifts together and then he uploaded the games for me cause I was bugging him about it. Teehee. They are so fun!

Tomorrow's Caroling party at Pastors house. Yee! It should be fun.

I guess that's it for now. Back to the needles. >.<

Weekend Update

Well, my weekend was pretty sweet. Saturday was kinda rocky in the morning, Kester came over and we were supposed to go to the parade to support FABBA, but turns out it was all the way on the other side of Escondido, no where near my house, but we decided to drive all the way there. That was pointless cause most of the roads were closed off and people were walking, but we didn't know where to park or anything, so I said forget it and we headed back home. Then we just decided to go to church and invite people to our Cantata, so we did so in the rain. It was fun actually, me and my sister went off on our own and just sang as we walked in the rain and invited people. I'm pretty sure they thought we were strange. Oh well.

After that Mister was waiting for us at church. We cleaned and then he went off to go get his smog. And I went online to pick pictures for this thing were doing, so I ordered my prints and we all went to eat at P&O then we went to walmart to pick up the pics. Yay for walmart, not only a place to get good deals, but a place to gather and run into the ones you love. ;] We ran into the Prodigies and Justin. That was fun. After that we headed back to my place, tired. So we just cozied up in the living room and we took a nap, I had my sisters snuggler. Hah. Mister had all the porkies to keep him warm, it was raining so hard, so he was waiting till it stopped. Until then we just watched some christmas movies<3 Then he was off cause he needed to do his laundry.
That was my Saturday

Sunday was great! Cantata went very well. ^o^ PTL. We sang, we ate, then we were off to the Nursing Homes to sing to the elderly there. :] I didn't even realize that it marked the 12 days of Christmas, so what did my true love give to me on the 12? Sweet tea and some fries! :D We went to McDonald's after we were done. Num num num. Thats where its at. Yup. Just for the sake of not making entry any longer, that was my Sunday.

And right now I'm just uploading all these pictures from Thanksgiving and Cantata, man so many. Hah. But I'm happy cause I got a package filled with these little goodies my godmother makes for me. They are heavenly. <33 Thank you Mama Evalynn . :]

Living on edge.

Wow talk about an exciting morning. >.< Didn't make it to the parade, but its fine cause we got some good laughs about it anyway. ;p And now I sit here on the piano waiting for the Mister to get back, and then were off to go eat and enjoy the rest of our day. :]]<3


I'm singing in the Rain rain rain.

there's zombies in the park

What to do today?

I'm not so sure, but for now I'm off to the Kit Carson park parade by my house. :]]

Have a great Saturday people!

Word Flush:

I feel like my universe is so much bigger than the confinement of these four walls. like i can reach up and tear a piece of sky to give to you. because to me, the sky is perfect. the sky is reliable. the sky is the most amazing and honorable thing in this world. and you deserve that. you make me feel infinite, like i could be the sky. like we're all connected by this endless abyss of blue. and i want to give sky to you. i want to give you the universe, the whole entire thing. i want to give you something beyond these walls and these halls and i feel like i could. i feel like i could look up and see perfection and turn my head to you and nothing would change. because you're perfect.

i'm not even controlling my words, i'm letting go of all thought of thoughts and typing what crosses my mind, and the fact that i said you're perfect came out astounds me. because i never really say that. i never build myself up with exaggerations anymore only to be let down when things change. but the spontaneity of my thoughts and this motion and this waterfall of emotion and words is magic and beauty and there's more truth in thoughtless thoughts than there is in a thought that's been picked clean to be said with the "right" words. but the right words are the ones originally thought of; they're raw and fresh and young and the most honest part of the brain.

i don't care if i'm missing punctuation and capitals and everything that writing is supposed to be. because sometimes raw thoughts are the best writing, and raw thought are too quick to be thought of and analyzed and made "perfect."

sometimes things are perfect in their imperfection.

the sky will storm, but it still remains beautiful.

hurricanes come and go, but there's beauty in everything. there's magic where you make it. and there's love where you can take it.

let's take it on a walk. on a run. let's take it with us and put it in our pockets and carry it around like a favorite photograph. because it's raw. it's real. it's love. it's us.

it's perfect.

Who are we? Who are you? Who am I?

I really need to do this more.

Who will we become? It's weird to think about changing into someone totally different in the future. It's weird to think about the day when I'll look back at when I was just a teenager and it'll feel a world away. Because this world is all I know, and to think that it'll be gone someday is a weird thought.

I read old blog posts, and those feel a world away. In reality, they were just a year or two ago. It's amazing how many things can change in a matter of a year. And to think about how many years I still have to my life is weird; imagine how much could change!

But that leads me to think, who are we? Who are we now? At this very instant, how would you describe yourself? And how do you think the person you are now will develop into the person you will become? How many different worlds do we have? How many times do you look back and feel a world away from where you were?

It's weird to think that the person you were way back then is the same person you are now, just younger; you didn't know all the things you know now, but you were still you. Look back at the way you used to be, look at yourself now, and think about who you might be in just a year, or maybe more.

Never forget where you started, where you came from.
Things change and people go through the motions, but through it all, we always remain ourselves.

I'm excited to see who I'll be as a person and where I'll be in 5 years. ^.^I thank God that I've made it this far.

What a cutie

Best cover ever. Wonderful.

Just something I found.

The greatest relationships

The greatest relationships are the ones you never expected to be in. The ones that swept you off your feet and challenged your ever view. The ones where you found yourself to be a better person because of who you were when he was around. The ones that made you wake up with a smile on your face no matter how corny it was. The ones that made everything right when it was wrong. the ones that caused you physical pain to leave because leaving meant losing a part of yourself.

The greatest relationships are the ones you’ll always remember not because of their length, but because of who you were with. The ones where the memories make you want to laugh when you’re crying. The ones that make you believe that God exists, because no one else could have created someone so amazing. The ones that cause you to change for the better, even if you don’t realize it. the ones where you know you’re being honest with yourself, so much it hurts.

The greatest relationships are the ones where he called you lame and you just rolled your eyes because you knew he was kidding. The ones where you were comfortable around him because you knew he’d love you no matter what. The ones where love seemed to be the only answer. The ones that made you compromise because it was something you knew you wanted to last. The ones where you accepted what he did because you just wanted to see him happy.

The greatest relationships are the ones that changed your life. The ones that made you rethink your future because you knew it’d be better with him. The ones where you felt like your forever had finally appeared. The ones that made you question the ending. The ones that told you to push through the problems because eventually it would be better again. The ones where you broke your heart and his for his good, even when you couldn’t explain without breaking a rule.

The greatest relationships are the ones where you care more about his happiness then you do about your own. The ones where you do what you do for his future, even if it means wrecking your present. The ones where you tell yourself to walk in the opposite direction, because you know there are just some things you can’t do. The ones when you cry not because it’s over, but because you know you lost not only him, but your best friend too.

The greatest relationships are the ones where you’ll thank him for being a part of your life, no matter how short. The ones where you’ll never forget him because he helped shape your view on love. The ones where you’ll always be there for him, whether or not he’ll accept that. The ones where he put up with your junk when he didn’t have to. The ones where your last tribute to him was doing something he never thought you’d do - and loving it.

The greatest relationships are the ones where you’ll always love him, even when he’s forgotten all about you. The ones where you’re changed forever because of him. The ones that you will always smile about because while they were flawed, they were still amazing. The ones where you fought what you knew was going to happen because you couldn’t quite come to terms with losing him. the ones that remind you love lost is better than never having loved at all.

:]

Lets celebrate this lovely, lovely calm weather. ♥



^o^

Sunday

I'm thankful I get another Sunday! Today should be exciting. I know I'll be blessed. Ready for some sanging. ;]

Good day to all!

Caroling

Tonight is the first night of Caroling! Ah, I hope this turns out well. I'm excited.

Its magic

Well, yesterday was a good day. Mister came over and he helped me save all my computers on his "new" passport. ;p It took forever! Like the whole time he was over we were working on my laptop! Finally Tosh, pulled through and allowed us to clean his memory. Now its like Tosh is brand new! Funny thing is, all that time putting all my pictures on Misters little device, wasn't even needed. Hah. We got a good laugh though. I appreciate his help. Anyway, today I cleaned my room, it's not finished yet. It will be by tonight though. I can't to get all the art supplies I need, and then my project will take place. It will be so fun with the help of my Char and Mister! It gets me excited just thinking about it. All these ideas in head just waiting to be spilled onto paper, photos, and onto my walls! I'll be sure to post up the finish product. That will probably be in January. Which is actually pretty soon. Haha.


xanga

I signed into it for the first time in a long time and posted on it.
It’s nice to be back there more often. I kick myself for getting too into blogspot.
Xanga is where my heart belongs. <3

It's the first day of December!



The holidays, the Christmas music, the cold weather, the anticipation for a new year...



The feeling of December is here!


And what better way to welcome it than....
to spend it with mister on our day!

Happy 1st, My Dear!

You can't stop the future. You can't rewind the past. The only way to learn is to press play.

I finished 13 reasons why. A book about a girl who took her own life, and left tapes behind explaining the 13 reasons why she did it, and how it all lead up to that last day.

It left me puzzled. I had to re-read the last two pages.
To me the book was well worth reading. It really will leave you thinking about all the little things that you say or do to others. It's true, you don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything really does affects everything.

All of us feel alone, scrutinized, and unhappy with ourselves at some point in our lives. For people with depression, those feelings can seem overwhelming and even painful. Some of us, like Hannah (the girl who ended her life in the book), blame others for why we are unhappy. Others of us, like Hannah, blame ourselves for why we are unhappy- we don't like how we look, how we appear to others, etc.

The key is to have hope, to find a passion, to have patience, and to look outside yourself.To me she just gave up. She even said so on the tapes she left behind. Sure, it's easy to die- a few too many pills and you don't have to worry what you look like anymore, what people think of you anymore, or feel sad anymore. But, with those few too many pills, you also terminated the one chance, the ONE CHANCE, you have at experiencing life. It may feel like there's no way out, no reason to live, no desire to live, and that no one would care, but that is a short term view of life.
The wrong view. You may feel like there's no way out, like you''ve been in this tunnel holding your breath waiting for the tunnel to end so you can finally breath that sweet air& see the beauty around you, but you feel it won't come, that you won't make it, that you just can't hold on any longer, that there's no longer a reason, and if you were to let go, to give up, no one would even care. WRONG!

I do sympathize with Hannah's feelings of hopelessness and her peers' faults. She could not muster the patience that would eventually have helped her. I wish she just waited a little longer, yeah, I know it's just a book, but it saddens me cause things like this do happen. She committed a short-term action for a long-term situation- a very long-term situation- her LIFE.

You only get one life. One chance to live. It really is up to you what you want to do with it, and maybe you don't know what to do with it, but you're obviously on this earth for a reason. A reason only God knows. Don't throw it away one afternoon when you've been feeling lousy. People fight depression for years, and the one's who come out of it are truly grateful.
Hannah, she wanted everything and nothing at the same time.
I don't know. I can't really get it. But I get this, Hannah Baker gave up.
The sad thing is when people give up on something they've been fighting to hold onto for so long.


"A lot of you cared, just not enough."





Those words have been stuck to me ever since I read them in the book.
I'm guilty, of not caring enough. I know I am. But I want that to change. I want to be the light I'm suppose to be. The light God wants me to be. And in order for that, I need to be broken and stay broke. In my xanga, I posted something along the lines of, "This year I will care more, it doesn't hurt to care a little bit more" But really, now that I think about it, in some ways it does. Especially when the person you're caring for doesn't want it. But you know what I've learned a lot this year? Care even more, don't give up. Cause I can promise you this, life is precious, and well worth fighting for. I thank God that I never gave up, as much as I wanted to, I never gave up, why? Because God, Himself, never once gave up on me.
Please, keep on keeping on. Never give up! Keep up the fight. In the end, everything does matter.

Up the radio

So, these past few days have been nothing but great! And if you want to know about it then continue on, but I warn you now, it's pretty long. But I do hope you read.

Thanksgiving day was awesome. I thought it wasn't going to be so great cause Mister had an emergency and we didn't know if he would actually come to my aunts, but I was happy cause I got to see him in the morning, he came over and we gave him a to-go box filled with yumm. Then we were off to my cousins. Oh how much I missed them, we only see each other like twice a year! Sometimes years, but I'm glad no matter how long its been, it's never awkward. It's as if we see each other every week or something. Ha..
Anyway, we got there at ate some my aunts delicious food. And watched movies as a family. At 3 Kester finally made it, and I had to go find him cause he parked out on the street, so me and Brandon ran all the way over there, and back. Woo. I was happy he made it, he hit it off. They welcomed him to the family. (: After that, My aunts boyfriend came, and we met him, he's nice, very mellow, but nice.
After transformers 2, and in the middle of G.I. JOE... Nikki, Char, Brandon, Mister, and I decided to go the park. So we did, and we all just took pictures and talked, then I wanted to go to the pool, so we got the key and loaded up on goodies, and stuck our feet in the warm hot water, I wish I brought swimming clothes! My skirt got wet, oh well. It was fun.
Once we went back in, we were gonna watch The Eye in Nikki's room, and then my aunt asked if we wanted to go blockbuster and rent movies, so we did! We got Four Christmases&Star Trek. Love that movie. After all that we left around 10, and got home around almost 12, and then we just hung out and had a camera war with Bec. Haha. Kester was getting us off guard, argh. I'll get him. I did. Hah. Then Kester decided to leave like right around 12 cause we were all tired. :\ And he was going to go shopping around 3 in the morning so he needed to rest. Hah.

Black Friday was fun as well! We woke up at 8, Kester came and picked me and Char up, then we headed over to the mall by my house and we ran into the Dus and the Videnas! How fun. After that I helped Mister pick out something for Secret Santa, I believe she'll love it. :]
We didn't know what to do after that so we headed over to his house cause his cousin's from Texas wanted to meet me and I wanted to meet them so we did, they are nice. We watched part of a movie and decided to go watch the Blind Side, so we headed over there bought our tickets got our popcorn and seats, and waited. We texted our mom and told her we loved her and stuff, then she texted back "ok, just enjoy your day. i love you all :}" Kester went crazy over "i love you all." Haha. My mom loves him. Yay! Anyway, a few minutes later, before the movie started, my mom texted us telling us to be home at 1 cause of my dad. The movie was about to start! It was 12:55 :[ So we tried to contact my dad, but he wasn't answering, so we decided to get out of the theater, and then he answered, and said we could be home at 2:30, we were sad that we couldn't watch it... so we just went to B&N and read books on the floor, and left lovely notes in random place. ;] I didn't have pen so Kester&I used my liquid eyeliner. Haha. It was fun. I told him I could do that with him for the rest of my life.<3
Today, we have a BBQ to go to at my aunties, so were gonna meet up with Mister around 1, this time around were gonna have our swim clothes ready! I don't care if its raining or thundering. I will be in that water. Hehe. I just love this weather, it calms my soul as I sit here in my PJs listening to Christmas music, just waiting for that chance of snow here in the lions valley.

I hope you all have a safe&blessed day, I know I will! Thank you, God!

"With man, this is possible.
With God, ALL things are possible."
- Blind Side

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!






Time to pull out the cameras and gather around the table!
I will be spending it at my Aunties house in Eastlake, with my wonderful family and of course my wonderful Darling Mister! :] I hope everyone has a great day with the ones that they love! Don't forget to give thanks to the Lord for another blessed day!
Oh there's so much to be thankful for, and just for that I thank you, Lord!<3

I hate to gush

And I hate to sound like a silly love sick person, because I think it's a little pathetic sometimes, IF over done.

But I'm very happy/thankful to have Kester in my life. He never fails at making me smile, and he's really understanding and supportive, he tells it how it is, for my own good.. even when I'm being a total psycho. And it's not that words can't describe it, because they can. It's just that I don't really want them to. These feelings don't need to be belittled by having face value. So just believe me when I say, quite simply, that he makes me happy.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

This season, of course, is one of my favorite times of the year.





And I seem to find the happiness I seek when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.

Stop and take a look

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear."

John Lennon

So open up your heart and let this fool rush in.

Let’s live an amazing life. It’s the only one we’ve got, anyway. So if you’re going to go for something, go all the way. Go, go go!

Finally, the Holidays are here.
<3

You know what that means? Time to break out my Christmas decorations and decorate my room with old and new decorations. The "new" ones aren't made yet, but they will be soon! I just love the holiday spirit. Love is in the air and everyone seems to catch it in one way or another. Plus, this time of year always puts me in the art mood. Its my best time of year. Speaking of art! Yesterday at church we had our youth group make Christmas Cards for Gavin. It was fun, we had a crazy table, but I think our table made the best cards. :p Meca, what a funny girl.. her cards were so girly, but cute! Jojo, his was classic. Dan's... haha he was so close to making a "white Christmas card" meaning, just blank paper. -___- Hah. John his was so preschool... it took him forever though. Good job, John! Mine was like a cartoon. I wanted to keep it. And then there was the winner, Kester! ^.^ He bit off one of my cards, but it's fine cause great minds think alike! Hehe. He made a pop out card, it was pretty awesome.. it was so good that they are just gonna give it to Gavin himself. I'm sure the little boy will love it.
Anywhoo..
Gavin sure is an awesome little boy, his smile can light up the room. His parents are so sweet&if you click HERE , you can read about them, and hopefully you'll be touch and want to be a blessing to him and his family as well. Maybe make some Christmas cards, and send it in for them to post up for donations, or donating and in return receive a handmade Christmas card! Or by simply leaving an encouraging message for his Parents, and of course Prayer helps.(:

1300 days.

These speak for me. (:

Goodnight, blog!

Only you.

It's just the way we are.