Baby,

I am blessed.

And it beats for two.

Though I'm seeing the same view as yesterday, walking the same road as yesterday, my world has changed. Surely, I will never be like that again. The old me no longer exists. In the blue sky, the white clouds float by so beautifully.. I will no longer say I want to go back to those days. Another year has come. My life has become more dependent towards others. Friends are good, I want to be with them forever. We may exist in a different place, but I want to find light in every step I choose to take. So what if I fall.. as long as you get back up again. If you look up at the sky when you fall, the vast blue is smiling at you today. I am alive. You are alive. We are alive.

New blog coming soon. My head is back in place. But right now.. a movie. Tah!

I just want to get by, don't want nothing to hurt me

Boy, I missed two days of blogging. I feel terrible now. Oh well. Tomorrow I'll be back.
Sometimes I have no idea where my head is at.. That's all.

Day 14

Suffer and suffer through, and there's a rainbow colored happiness waiting on the other side. Do not rush it. Do not be greedy. Don't give up. Because, everybody takes a step at a time. It didn't matter how insignificant, but, I wanted to be useful to others. 18 years old, whether it's furthering studies or getting a job, everybody is advancing along their own paths. But for me.. Everyone's sincerity goes straight to my heart. It's not that I want an easy place to pass the time. How should I live my life from here on.. That's what I've been thinking about. The present me.. is totally different.

And I can't give up on myself.
Almost 19.
Even for me, there must be a future all my own.

...
I'm sick, laying in quiet soil
Lying to the earth,
A small breath of legacy perched on my teeth.
My paper sheets, ink driven dreams,
Bones the size of corpses,
Skin like scales
ten pounds too high.
Oh, the madness that follows my fingertips,
Bites at the heels of these words,
Swallows the spaces in between the lines,
It chases my head into circles
And may never stop.

My pen smirks up at me,
Knowing my faults.
It laughs at my misspelled words and inadequate grammar,
Erasers cry, feeling abandoned.

There is no end to this dream
No night for me to rest
The stars like fluorescent s
A high strung out buzz of potential immortality.
I would give my life for these verses to live forever,
Touch humanity with wicked fingers of genius
Catalyze the knowledge of suffering and
Grace.

Yeah.. that's it. (:

Uh..

Guuuuurrrrrrl. (:

I love it that with Him...

...you can be having the worst day but still be in a good mood

...you can be treated like crap and still be polite

...you could have not eaten food and still only be hungry for Him

...you could have not slept yet still stay up late talking to Him

...you can not be smiled at all day but still smile at others (because He smiles at you)

...you can be discouraged and still encourage

...you can see past their dirty looks, into their eyes, to see pain not anger

...you can hear their hurt and confusion and not their cruel words

...you can make it through any day knowing that you can run home and crawl into His lap

...you can know that He'll always love you no matter what and He'll never leave you
...you can know that He is true, real, forever, and there with you right now.

I love having a Father who makes it so you can!

There's always that shining light of HOPE.
Thank you, Lord.
<3

Timing is what it's called..

I don't have much to say today. Why? Cause I'm tired. But I'll leave you with this..

I have faith that I will end up...

...Where I am supposed to be...
Where I belong.
I believe. One day. Someday.
Just one.

Why..

My trust you shall receive, and of course my heart you will break. Love is what I give and of course hate is what you will return. Perfection is what I aim for, yet you remind me it does not exist. Admiration is all I wish to have, Yet it seems to be far from what I get. Sometimes people slowly become the worst enemy. The people who care start to appear and in the end I will figure out every challenge.. and master every obstacle thrown my way.. with friends&fam by my side, or alone. I will succeed. Take a part with me in my journey. The choice is yours. The End.

And so it goes....

Every morning I am blessed with the opportunity to awake.
Every afternoon I am blessed with the opportunity to sit at a table
with my amazing family and have a meal only so many in the world
have the ability to receive.
Every night I lay myself down and say a prayer only in hopes to repeat
those same steps the next day with no complaints.
Because you lord, are my savior.
No one or anyone will ever change the way I feel about you.
Why is it all of a sudden so "cool" or so right too be God free?
I say believe in what you please, but don't ever attempt to change my opinions.
Our world is full of hate, poverty, and negligence.
He is not too blame, for everything happening in this world is caused by us.
WE ARE TO BLAME
In the end, all will be well and those who believe shall receive.
An old friend of mine tells me he prayed everyday and god has never done anything for him.
You my friend, need to think again.

God helps you everyday
He gave you life, and continues too...
He gives you air
And so much more..
I don't need proof of his existence to believe
I just feel he's a part of me
I know he helps me live my life everyday..
and without him and without my faith I am nothing
I am a christian
and I don't claim to be perfect
so don't stereo type me as hypocritical
perfection does not exist
we are all equal and we all make mistakes..

Every morning I just try to be a better person than I was the day before.
Thank you, Lord.

This is me..

The Rules
01. Answer each of the questions below using the [flickr] search engine.
02. Choose a photo from the first three pages.
03. Copy the URL of your favorite photos [mosaic tool] .
04. Then share with the world.

01. First Name
02. Favorite Food
03. Hometown
04. Favorite Color
05. Celebrity Crush
06. Favorite Drink
07. Dream Holiday
08. Favorite Dessert
09. What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
10. What I Love Most In The World
11. One Word That Describes Me
12. My Blog/Online Name [or something close to it]

Cause you said it and you wrote it down

It goes. The story goes. How will it end? Only God knows. God is oh so good. He constantly provides things I know I do not deserve. Like just being able to be. He's always here for me.

I pray that this year of life and so on, I learn to love Him more and remain faithful even during changes and challenging times.

Lets..

Wide awake. Hmm.. have you ever really thought about being able to feel the wind, but not see it ...have you ever closed your eyes, and ignored everything else around you, and just felt it on your face.. and at the same time try to picture what it would look like if you could see it ... I would very much like to go running on the beach when it's dark, and windy, and cold, and just think. or sing. really loudly.

When i was little, if I missed someone,
I would turn my head to one side and look the other way.
And then I would try to make-believe that person was on the other side of me,
and I just wasn't looking at them.
And maybe that would help me not to miss them as much.

I will try this again.

When it falls..

Plants are awesome, aren't they? Whether they get rained on or trampled on, it stands it's ground and endures until it blossoms, right? I wish I could be strong like that too. When I think about the past, I'm troubled by my falling tears. Reality is too cruel and too brutal. Where should I go? Even if there's no answer.. if I write, at least I'll feel better. The petals open one by one.. Flowers don't bloom all at once....

..Finding that today leads into tomorrow, makes me hopeful.

This very moment..

I'm handing it to you... Never give up, no matter how bleak the situation... Can't let that happen again... And for some reason, I feel a tiny thump inside.. It comes. It sure does.

They get you places in life.

So I step towards the heat, it's the way I can see..

No need to worry if it comes to be. No mistake. I'll love and care for you, even if it's just me. Yeah. I'm here. Always will be.

We shall see in time.

Am I?

Sometimes when you care about someone a lot.. you just know you will make some kind of mistake and you end up losing the person you care the most about. But if you're lucky, you might just get a second chance..

Something new..

Ah, sometimes people just don't get it. Deprived.